Thursday, June 2, 2011

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU

fans how they smell - you know, like corn dogs.



LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.



I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you

attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell

like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, %26quot;Wow, LSU sure does

have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game.%26quot;



It%26039;s hard. I know. It%26039;s like when you%26039;re having sex and you try to

think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming.

It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or

whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: %26quot;Gee, I

wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like

a corn dog?%26quot;; or %26quot;Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying

to make me think it is a real person?%26quot; or %26quot;What did that giant corn dog

just say?%26quot; or %26quot;Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly

like corn dogs smell?%26quot; or, of course, after a silencer:

%26quot;Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?%26quot;



Heck, after what I%26039;ve heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better

not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are

nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That%26039;s okay.



You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them.

They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But

don%26039;t be obvious about it. Somehow they know you%26039;re trying not to

breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They%26039;ll likely

punch you for that if they catch on to what you%26039;re doing.



If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it%26039;ll permeate your whole

body, and then you%26039;ll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But

don%26039;t say, %26quot;Dang, now I smell like a corn dog.%26quot; They take offense to

that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff.

Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get

stitches or something. Just don%26039;t say it. If you do start smelling like

a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?



I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your

kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around

town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and

sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in

their expression - indicating they smell corn dogs - might get a wrench

or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that%26039;s

dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as

you drive - on some other weekend



I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog

stuff. What puzzles me most is that I%26039;ve never actually seen any of

these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there%26039;s no

mystery there - maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?

Maybe there%26039;s a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there.

Maybe, there%26039;s a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume.

Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply -

kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird.

The big political issue during the city election is whether they should

add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don%26039;t comment on it

though. It%26039;s not politically correct over there. It%26039;s like a

malnutrition issue or something. It%26039;s like the corn dogs are probably

added to the water to prevent starvation or something.



I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you%26039;re thinking: %26quot;Ahhhh. Here I am

in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I%26039;ll bet the people here smell just like

boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe%26039; or some fancy Cajun food.%26quot; But just

stop thinking that. That%26039;s just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.



In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn

dog odor. And don%26039;t try masking the odor with something stronger.

They%26039;ll curse at you. They%26039;ll say something like: %26quot;WTF, how dare you

smoke a cigar in my home,%26quot; or %26quot;WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of

corn dogs?%26quot; and they%26039;ll cuss out your kids too: %26quot;WTF!!! Little Mister

fancy pants over here acts like he doesn%26039;t want to smell like corn dogs.%26quot;



Cajuns are not like us. Don%26039;t you see that, yet? They are really

sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know

they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all.

I know, I know. We sniff the bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole

messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don%26039;t press

your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don%26039;t refer to Death Valley as corn

dog valley either. I mean that%26039;s just wrong. Even if you%26039;ve been

drinking, they%26039;ll beat you up and curse out your kids.



Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction -

even if you%26039;re laughing about something else. Like baseball or football,

or sex or whatever. If you can%26039;t control yourself and you must laugh

though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their

corn dog body odor from a distance or that you%26039;re choking on it or

something. They%26039;ll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus

building over just one snort.



So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each

other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams.

You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed

my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this

Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.



Enough with this corn dog talk. Let%26039;s play ball...LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
seriously i%26039;m an SC fan and i don%26039;t like LSU at all, but you%26039;re going off the edge. you seriously need to get over this and TUNE IT DOWN A NOTCH!!!







FIGHT ON!LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
I watched the LSU game and I%26039;d say VT got a big wienie stuck to em alright. LSU fans are rowdy but it is all in good fun.Maybe your not grown enough to go to Baton Rouge and tail gait from 8am till kickoff or to attend the game. It is only for big boys.

Report Abuse

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
No offense, but I%26039;ll take a good corn dog smell over the smell of tofu and LA smog anyday.

I do have to congratulate you, though, for managing to post a question without saying fight on. Try making it a habit.LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
Dude I believe you%26039;re the absolute dumbest muthaf*ker on here.LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
why do you keep talking, nobody cares what you say. I%26039;m not an LSU fan, and perhaps they do smell like corn dogs I don%26039;t know, but this question is lame.LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
yeah.... unlike you, i don%26039;t go around sniffing people.LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
I guess your mother is a huge corn dog fan. She has been pestering me for my footlong frank for the past 2 years.LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
Your butthole smells of and old man%26039;s genitals.LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
If i got nothing good to say, umm i don%26039;t want to say it pal, but Fight On! corn dog or not. Fight On to Victory.LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
MMMMmmmmm.... Corn Dogs!



You gonna take that about your mom Austin??LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
Interesting Austin.



Corn dogLSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
I dont know Austin, but I know its better than USC fans smelling like S**t.....



Oh wait, youre a USC fan....LSU fans smell just like corn dogs. Yes, it is often said, but so, so true. Who agrees with me?
You need professional psychiatric help dude. I bet the USC condoms are proud to have you represent them....LMFAO.
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